MemberJuly 13, 2021 at 6:54 pm
My dear brother or sister whatever gender you are I just want you to know I been there. We may not know eachother other but I genuinly care for your well being. I care because I know exactly where you’re coming from I also lived in poverty for most of my life. I was born and raised in Washington Heights in NYC. I remember as a child sometimes waking up crying because of stomach cramps from not eating because we had no food but my middle brother would wake up with me and always found a can of beans which he would cook for us to eat so I can be able to go back to sleep. From a child to a young man this was the case I had to struggle to make ends meet for me and my family. I mean I took to the streets at 11 or 12 not understanding the seveirity of what I was getting involved with. At one point a close friend who I grew up with who I consider my brother got me a pretty decent job so I was able to leave that life behind me. I eventually got custody of my son that I had when I was 17. A few years into that job we had a fire in our apartment and lost everything so I took my savings which I was gonna use to move out and I spent it helping my mother me and my son get everything back in order. After that I had a horrible accedent where I was electracuted and blown off a ladder. I didn’t qualify for SSI or SSD because I spent so many years working off the books, not enough work history they said and I was born here I worked on and off but always ended up off the books to make enough money to help my family. I was living off of $400 and change after my accident thats what workers comp gave me temporarily. Eventually I lost my job because I couldn’t work and the checks stopped coming I even tried to sue but no one would take the case it all had to be done by workers comp. It took six years for them to ok all the surgeries I needed. They had me on all types of medication which made things worst. I was so bad that I did attempt to kill my self. Before hand I told God I was ready to go but that if by some miricle I was able to make it out alive I swore to get all the help I could to get better but I was tired of the physical emotional and mental pain I was in. I sufferd most of my life and for a brief moment I thought I was gonna be ok but after that accendent I was back to square one. The day of I was actually dead when the ambulance arrived but they where able to bring me back. After that I was so messed up I moved into a shelter so my mother and son didn’t have to see me in the condition I was in. Things got way worst before they got better I was shot when I went to visit my mother and son on a mothers day. I was defending myself from a group of guys I got into a fight with. The cowards must have got tired before me because they decided to shoot me. Things didn’t end there fam I had another incedent by the shelter weeks after getting shot. I got into a knife fight but luckily we both came out ok nothing that couldn’t be fixed, but that guy went looking for me with two other guys at the shelter so they kicked me out. My brother who got me the job let me stay with him a few days. During all this I did keep my promise and I was getting help before all this since I got out the hospital after my suicide attempt but it just wasn’t the help I really needed the program that was helping me couldn’t place me in a live in program I was trying to get in to, to help me get my life straight, but no because I didn’t qualify. Then I had to leave the shelter and stay at my brothers house. But I didn’t give up I went back to the program explained how I got shot and thrown out of the shelter and I really had no where to go at all but they still gave me some bs and they couldn’t help me. So I on my own contacted the place I knew that could help but I supposedly didn’t qualify for. I explained to them what I been through and I told them I would surely die at the rate things where going. They then explained to me what I had to do to get in. I did what they explained I needed to be done in order to get the help and at that point they excpted me to go. Fam I spent almost a year there came out way better moved back with my mom and son and now three years later my mom was able to buy a house in Florida which we are all living in now. Things still ain’t easy I was able to get some money when I got home which I put in the stock market and it went well last year but none of this money is real life changing money lets be real to really change your entire life these days it takes a whole lot. I been able to help my mom a bit but Im now running out of living cash this year in the market its been going horrible and I owe a lot of money with the IRS State tax and the move the things I had to help my mom with Im running out of money and what’s left in the market I know I can’t touch because its not life changing yet. Im in on AMC and I got in kinda late so I have some big negative numbers and I will soon run out of living cash. But I won’t give up Im gonna keep on keeping on. Im not letting go of my AMC shares and Im not touching that cash. I suffer from crazy pain but if I have to go to work that’s what I’ll do. I know where I want to work I applied to some places but they didn’t take me probably because of the large gap I have in my work history. Listen man killing yourself is not the answer keep doing what you can do not give up I realized how stupid and cowardness it was of me to try and off my self that’s the easy way out bro/sis besides I imagine all the people I would have hurt also. You got to be strong nothing worth fighting for ever comes easy especially when your fighting for your life or your livelyhood. Do not give up do not kill yourself its really not with it. If your alive you can always fix your problems and when your better you can even help those you love if they ever fall into hardship but if you’re dead you can’t do shit not for yourself and not for anyone death is finale. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to talk hit me up I’ll give you my email and we can take it from there. You never know two heads are better than one you are not alone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me I been there and I am highly experienced in all that shit and more. I don’t like putting my business out there but if its gonna keep you from making such a grave mistake then so be it I don’t give a f*** what anyone thinks.