WHEN STOCKS MEET APE

For Apes By Apes! When the Moon Is The Only Vacation That Matters!

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  • Welcome aboard apes, this is your captain speaking

     Al-Den updated 1 year, 2 months ago 4 Members · 4 Posts
    AMC
  • CrayonMuncher

    Member
    May 31, 2021 at 10:11 pm

    We would like to welcome you to Ape Airlines, my name is Captain Harambe. My co-pilot Jane Goodall would also like to welcome you aboard. We are glad you will be flying with us today.

    Our flight plan will take us into deep space. Along the way we will be passing the moon. From the right side of the rocket you will be able to see Mare Serenitatis, also known as the Sea of Serenity. Next to it you will see Mare Tranquillitatis, also known as the Sea of Tranquility.

    On the left side of the rocket you will be able to see Jupiter, the largest planet in the solar system. A fun fact is that Jupiter has 67 moons. Be quick to take pictures because as hedge funds implode while they fall into any surrounding black holes, we will be flying past it very quickly.

    We will then graze by Saturn’s rings, again, another great photo opportunity, but we won’t stay long since FOMO buying will be replenishing our rocket fuel.

    Don’t fall asleep or you will miss our fly over of Uranus and Neptune since our altitude will be gaining quickly as remaining hedge funds panic buy to cover their shorts. Popping his head out of Uranus, you will be able to see Rich Greenfield. Be sure to give him a big fat middle finger as we pass by.

    To some, Pluto is still a planet, and to other’s it isn’t. But at this altitude, do we really care anymore? We will just skip past it to avoid the discussion. You will be too busy counting your tendies anyway.

    We will be reaching a speed of 17,500 miles per hour. We ask that you please keep your seat belt fastened while the fasten seat belt is lit. Once we exit our solar system, the light will be turned off and you will be free to swing about the cabin trees and fling poo. Our lovely flight attendants will be serving bananas and crayons at that time. We accept all forms of tendies, and by this time, you will have a metric shit ton of them. Please tip generously.

    In the event of turbulence, don’t panic. We’ve all experience it many times before and dips no longer scare us. If you are traveling with new apes, reassure them that this is normal and will go away soon.

    Should you feel uneasy, there is a buy button in front of you. Pressing it will make you feel better and bring us back to cruising altitude.

    In the event of the SEC or hedge funds causing cabin depressurization, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead panel and crayon scented oxygen will begin to flow. Put your mask on first and then you can assist baby apes with theirs.

    In the event of a lunar landing, your seat can be removed and can serve as a weighted lounge chair on a planet. Don’t get too comfortable though because we will patch up the rocket and blast off again with more FOMO fuel.

    Our flight plan does expect some rises and dips along the way but we will be fine. We also will be making short stops to pick up new baby apes and FOMO passengers along the way, so please remain seated. There are no connecting flights or layovers on this route. It will be straight to the outer galaxy.

    There is no in-flight entertainment since your diamond hands won’t be able to operate anything anyway, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. The screen built into the headrest in front of you will be displaying your new account balance, which you can use to track our journey. It is free, please enjoy. There also is no wifi aboard since we will be so stupid high anyway and out of the range of Starlink but we do have future plans for future flights.

    Soon we will be taxing to the runway so please bring your seats and tray tables to their upright position and stow away all bananas and crayons under your seat or in the overhead compartment.

    Thank you again for flying Ape Airlines and we hope to see you again soon at our next squeeze.

  • blue-moves

    Member
    June 3, 2021 at 6:13 pm

    Love this!!
    Love this community!
    🔷🦍🔷Ape4Life🔷🦍🔷

  • GreenAPE

    Member
    June 3, 2021 at 6:44 pm

    TLDR but HODLing onto my crayons. Mmmm, green is my favorite

  • Al-Den

    Member
    June 3, 2021 at 7:13 pm

    🙈🐒🙊🐒 Diamond hands and doubling down..!🌑🌘

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